Why Won't the Tears Come?

Why won’t the tears come?

I wish they would

I want to be held so badly

But no one is there

No one is ever there

Just to hold me

It doesn’t have to be more

I want someone to care

To be there for me

This apartment seems so empty

Despite the furniture in it

I don’t need furniture

I need a person

A person that actually cares

Someone who is there when I come home

I want to cry so badly

But the tears won’t come

Why won’t the tears come?

Jaclyn Horton

Hold Me

Some days I cry out to Mother, the Mother of my soul.
Craving someone to hold me
Just hold me
It doesn't have to be anything more
If that makes me weak
Then I'm weak
So be it
Still it doesn't change the fact
That I crave human contact
A physical touch
To curl up in someone's arms
Would be worth so much to me
Even though it's been years
I still go on
I persist
I place my hopes
That someone will accept my heart
Upon the altar of the Mother of my soul

Jaclyn Horton

Why Am I Ignored?

Why am I continually ignored?

I try to say things

Or write poetry

But more often than not

I feel I am ignored

Have I done something wrong?

Is something wrong with me?

I don’t have any diseases

I just want companionship

Is that asking too much?

I don’t think so

My heart just longs for companionship

Instead there is only silence

Jaclyn Horton

Like A Child

Sometimes I feel like a child
Reaching for it's Mother
The world seems so big and scary
Maybe if I close up into a shell
Nothing can harm me
All I want is for myself and others to be loved
Is that hard to understand?
Instead everyone tries to outdo everyone else
Stepping on whoever they must
On the way to the proverbial top
I just want to be ok
And for everyone else to be ok
I guess that makes me strange
At least to others
I reject the climb to the top
Especially at the expense of others
We do much better as race
By helping each other along the way
Afterall we are all One
We are more alike than different

Jaclyn Horton

Naked Before You

Mother Sophia, Mother Lilith once again I lay naked before you
You see me as I am
I do not hide my nakedness from you
You also can see my pain
My physical pain as well as my emotional pain
I ask you to fill my entire being with Your spirits
Please take away my pain
It hurts so much
If I'm supposed to learn something from this
Please help me to comprehend the lesson
Help me to grow as a person, as a spiritual being
I open myself up to both of You
Please guide me
Take control of me
It is hard for me to go on
Yet I won't harm the gift You have given me
Whenever You decide to take my spirit
I truly commit my spirit to you
I will trust it in your hands

To both of You I humbly bow

Jaclyn Horton

Mother How Much Longer?

Mother how much longer?

How much longer must I endure?
How many more lessons must I learn?
I see the pain within this world and in my very soul 
Isn't this enough?
Mother how much longer?

Jaclyn Horton