A Life Not Taken

I was told by my former best friend to drive off a cliff
To end my life
Sometimes I wonder how things would be different
If I had done what she asked
Sometimes there was nothing I wanted more
Was the fact that I didn't follow through
A matter of strength?
I would like to think so
But I'm really not sure
I keep thinking back to those times
Despite everything that happened
I still love her
I suffered more pain that I can ever imagine
I think death would have hurt less
So I think it was a matter of perseverance
Of endurance
I would like to think
That karma is paid up
I truly hope so
Mine anyway
I can't speak for her though
I ask that all the hosts of Heaven
Would watch over her
Not for any recognition for me
But that she would be blessed
In all that she does
In every aspect of her life
Her entire being
May she be filled with healing
May she be filled with wisdom
May she be filled with abundance
May she be filled with love

Jaclyn C. Horton

Trans-Orientation?

Looking into attraction to transgenders. In the past many of these individuals have been accused of just wanting a transgender individual to fulfill their fetish dream. Yes I'm sure there are those but what about those who are legitimately attracted to trans people as someone could be attracted to a man or a woman. I do think this is very possible. There are also trans people who would like to find some of these people for a love interest of their own. In my opinion, something worth looking into.

I Will Always Love You

Regardless how you feel about me
Whether you wish good or ill
I will always love you
Love you with all my heart
People tell me to avoid you
That you will just hurt me
I can't help the way I feel about you
I have loved you longer than I can count
I don't remember a time of not loving you
My soul yearns for you
I'm so sorry for how I hurt you
In that previous lifetime
I was so wrong
I didn't realize it then
I sure do now
I've tried not loving you
I realize now that's impossible
Regardless of the feelings you have for me
No matter what they are
I will always love you
Love you not only with all my heart
Love you with all my soul.

Jaclyn C. Horton

Flow Through Me

As I open myself up to You
I feel your energy flowing through me
Your very wisdom given to me
I offer myself to You
I ask You to guide me on my quest
Fill me full of Your strength
Fill me full of Your passion
Flow down through the Pleroma
Into Malkut through my very soul
May what is best for my higher self
And my current incarnated self
Be manifested in completion

Freelance Writing

Last night I signed up for freelance writing. I'm looking to produce copyrighting, landing pages, web content and more. I also want to get into freelance photography. These are two of my dreams and I'm looking to manifest them into reality. This also gives me a chance to be my own boss so to speak.

I had been trying for a contract to hire network analyst position. They made a last minute change in the requirements which knocked me out of the running. I'm not too upset about it though. I had prayed to Mother Sophia that She would guide me as far as a location, what would be best for me and best for others. Perhaps this is Her answer. I do believe it is.

I am planning to move back to the SF Bay Area in April. Molly and I will be meeting up with her boyfriend in Reno on April 1st. I'm planning to be back in the Bay Area the latter part of the first week of April.