Month of Birthdays

 March is a month of birthdays in my family. I wrote previously about my birthday on the 17th. My Dad's birthday was on the 19th. I was especially thinking of him that day. I wasn't terribly upset about him or anything but I was thinking of him. Later that day I did speak to him through the ethers, kind of like praying but to him. I feel like he heard me. The next day, the 20th, is my daughter, Tiffany's birthday. I always liked the fact that her birthday is on or around the first day of Spring. This year is was exactly on the first day of Spring. I messaged her wishing her a Happy Birthday. Tomorrow is my brother, Steve's birthday. We really don't talk that much. We hadn't talked in years until the day my Dad passed. He called me the day after letting me know. I think I will send him a message tomorrow. I don't think he wants me there because of me being trans. I sometimes wish we could have a relationship. I didn't get a birthday wish from him, Chris, my oldest son, or David or my Mom, but she has dementia so she gets a pass so to speak. Tiffany was a day late but she did wish me one.

This morning, while I was meditating, I heard what sounded like both my Mom and Dad's voices saying hi. It was as if they were saying hi while entering the room. It was nice, although it did make me wonder if my Mom had passed. Also, during the meditation, Sandy and I were sitting on the pier during a sunset at the house I've been dreaming of building. It was a beautiful scene. When I told Sandy about it she said it made her smile. Knowing that made me smile as well.

Jaclyn C. Horton

3/22/2021

Heading into Spring

 As I head into Spring, I continue to feel blessed by the blooming relationship I find myself in. We talk everyday, many times sending audio messages or videos. It feels so nice just being thought of, filling me in on how her day is going. I treasure hearing from her. It has been many years since I have felt this happy. It seems we are on the same wavelength about a great many things. The depression and loneliness seems like a distant memory now. We've both said we can't wait till we can meet each other in person.

Spring is my favorite season of the year. To me it feels like a resurrection of sorts. What was dead is coming back to live. The trees, plants, grass, flowers and more are coming back to life. My mood has improved along with it. I feel joyful most days. 

I've been doing a great deal of reading lately. I'm reading through a commentary on the Gospel of Thomas, which is my favorite of the Nag Hammadi gospels. On some days I read from the Gospel of Phillip as well. It seems I can always learn more, which I find very exciting. I feel more connected to Sophia as well as Her other incarnations such as Mary Magdalene (especially her), Isis and others. This part of my spiritual journey started back in 2010 but here lately it seems to have gotten much closer and even intimate. I see Sophia as the Mother of my soul. 

I have had a number of dreams lately as well. One is to have a house on a lake. I really miss doing things such as boating, skiing and so forth. It would be a rustic home, maybe a log cabin with a pier going out over the water. The house would be a temple for Sophia as well. In addition, Sandy and I want to travel. First we would go to Oregon and see the Swann's house from Twilight. It's now an Air BnB you can rent. That sounds like so much fun! To share that with her will be great. I've been putting my money back to fund some of these dreams. I've been doing much better at that lately.

Jaclyn C. Horton

03/15/2021