The Beauty of Your Handiwork

As I look within

I see the uniqueness of the work

of Your holy and glorious hand

I see both the maleness and the femaleness

The androygne that is spoken of

But typically not seen

You have given me the opportunity

To learn about gender

To see and experience

Both the male and the female

Many cannot understand this

Cannot understand the transgender

That think I, and people like me

Are some sort of abnormality

Or sin against Creation

On the contrary,

You created me this way

I am Your creation

You have created within me

Both the Divine Masculine

And the Divine Feminine

What a blessing this is!

Oh how I wish the ignorant could see this

That their eyes could be opened to Your handiwork

So many want to destroy those like me

Or restrict us

But they would be destroying the creation of the Divine

It happens so often

Please help them to see

To see the handiwork of your Creation

To see the beauty in us

To see the love in us

Jaclyn C. Horton

All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2019

New Job and Other Happenings

I start a new job on Monday. It's with the San Francisco Department of Public Health. I was trying for a job in Newark with Stanford Health but I don't feel I did all that well on the 2nd interview. I finished the Seth book I previously mentioned and read a short book entitled Bringers of the Dawn: Teachings of the Pleiadians. At first I wasn't too impressed with that one but I gradually grew more into it. It couldn't compare with the Seth book though. I couldn't put that one down. I started a new Seth book entitled The Nature of Personal Reality:A Seth Book. So far it seems good as well.
I've beens struggling financially lately. I was stretching out food actually and started losing weight again. I'm down to 140 lbs. I had to go to the doctor to get a TB test and a flu shot (a requirement for the job I'm starting). I had been having more asthma symptoms anyway so the new doctor is running tests on me also. She prescribed a few days of prednisone, which helps in the short term but doesn't in the long term in my opinion. I got a check from my parents today so I was able to get 2 of the prescriptions refilled. I was out of estrogen so I can start that back up again. I had a nice conversation with Rex which was enjoyable. Afterwards I walked up to the Albany Taproom, a favorite restaurant of mine. My favorite waitress wasn't there though. I ordered a salmon burger, sweet potato fries with a side salad and turkey breast for the salad. Afterwards my stomach was hurting badly. I wonder if it was a reaction to the food. Time to get back to my book.

Seth Speaks and my thoughts about reincarnation

Lately I've been listening to an audiobook called Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the soul. An entity that no longer has a physical body is channeled by a woman. He is writing a book through Jane, an author. Her husband transcribes. One thing that is mentioned that in the afterlife we have choices of the type of lives we will reincarnate into. We even have the opportunity to relive a life with the chance to correct a mistake in a past life. This really got my attention. If this is true and it is true that Rhiannan and I were romantic in a past life like I've mentioned before, I would really love to have the opportunity to correct the mistake I may have made if I did cheat on her, which caused anger to well up in her. I think if all of this is true, I would like to relive that life. I would love to correct that dreadful mistake. Perhaps by not doing that one action, I could prevent things that some terrible things that occurred in this life. Listening to this audio is also making me realize that I need to not hold onto any pain or anger or hatred towards her, although I don't feel like I hate her. I honestly wish her peace and love and healing in all areas of her life. I think mostly I need to release her and not keep her bound. I've had difficulty releasing her. However, I do think that if she wished to know me in a future life, I would welcome it. But that would be up to her. This book has really made me think. It also has made me want to know if the events I described in the previous lifetime are true. I suspect I won't know for sure until I pass from this physical existence.

So Tired

I'm so, so tired. Tired of this existence. Today I found out my Federal Tax refund of $480 is being applied to something else. Perhaps student loans, I don't know. They don't fucking understand what my life is like, what's more they don't even care. As long as they get their fucking money. I would be glad to pay if I had the money to pay them. Instead I end up using it for things to survive on. I can't even go to the store to buy groceries, or get tags for my car, or insurance. It never ends. I'm so tired. Sometimes I just want out. How much is enough? How much do I have to bleed? Till I run out of blood? I feel like some people and even this entire system is only here to see how much they can get out of me until I'm run dry, when I'm bled out, then cast aside because I'll be of no use to them anymore.

Serpent Rising Inside

I lie in meditation
As I do I feel a large snake pressing against my anus
I am not afraid of it but welcome it
As it presses against my nether regions
I open up, welcoming it inside
The large snake enters me slowly
I take a deep breath
Willing it to come inside
It slithers inside me
At first I feel great pain
This soon however turns into pleasure
I desire it to possess me completely
It continues to enter me
Opening me ever larger
Because of it's great size
I totally lose all awareness
It gradually reaches first the lower chakra
Then eventually other chakras
Gradually moving up my energy centers
I feel the great serpent rising inside me
As it reaches the upper chakras
A great joy over comes me
Further still as it erupts out of my crown chakra
It then proceeds to cycle and reenter me
For what seems like an eternity
But I don't want it to stop
I welcome it and totally submitting it's energy
Fully possessing me
For what feels like an eternity
I let it continue as long as it wants to
Until eventually the energy subsides
AS it does I lie there in complete bliss

I Kneel Before You

As I kneel before your naked form
I feel myself lusting for your maleness
I begin to open myself up to you
Desiring you so completely
I rise up opening my mouth
In worship of your divine phallus
As your penis enters my mouth
I feel divine ecstasy all over my body
I must take it all in to me so completely
As your cock enters my mouth I open even more
Worshiping your maleness
I feel you entering the back of my mouth
I grab onto your muscular buttocks pulling you into my throat
As you begin go in and out of my oral orifice
I totally submit to your passion
I feel your member begin to pulse
As you do I feel my own body begin to quiver
We both reach a crescendo together
I totally lose all awareness
As our love rises up to the heavens
Your member erupts coating my throat with your love
I never want this to end
We continue for what feels like an eternity
Playing heavenly music with our bodies
But ultimately it subsides to an embrace
We hold each other in each other's arms
Letting the energy continue to swirl around us.

I Am Many Things

I am many things

I am Light and I am Dark
I am Sophia and I am Lilith
I am Spirituality and I am Carnality
I am the Saint and I am the Sinner
I am the Virgin and I am the Whore

I embrace all these things
I contain the entirety of all Creation, Light and Dark within my very soul

Jaclyn C. Horton
All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2019

Contemplation

As I sit here, I contemplate what has transpired over the past year. So much pain has been processed, but at the same time, much growth has occurred for me as well. I am fortunate I find myself among friends that have supported me and continue to support me. I thank them for the support they have given me and the lessons I have been taught.

Rhiannan's Birthday

Today is Rhiannan's birthday. I've never failed to wish her a Happy Birthday. I do wish her one through the ethers. I truly hope she has a happy one and enjoys her day. I miss her so much. Some times more than others of course. This is one of those days that I especially miss her. I find it hard to completely let go of her. I know I really need to do this but it is so difficult for me. Even after almost a year has passed. When I love someone, it seems to be a life sentence. She apparently doesn't feel this way. Truth is, it always seemed more one sided to me. I would've given my life for her if required. Still I am trying to push through. Push through the best that I possibly can. I truly hope she finds peace, healing and love in her life.