I don't have a plan. I have a challenge (yes another one) coming upon
me. I don't know how to handle it. I trust myself in my Mother Spirit
and the Universe. I open myself and may I be a tool for everything that
is right and good. May I be an instrument of love. May this love bring forth healing. Healing for my dear mother and healing for myself as well.
I've shed so many tears in such a short time. I'm sure I'll shed many more as well. They say tears are healing. I believe that. May the love of Sophia and Her perfect Wisdom guide me along the way.
Thursday, July 23, 2020
Wednesday, July 22, 2020
Savannah and my Mom
I traveled across the country recently. I left from Berkeley, California and made it to my new home, at least for now to Savannah, Georgia. I stopped in the L.A. area and visited with my friend Deirdre there. She was very kind in letting Jasper and I stay for the night at her house. The next morning we went out for breakfast and she took me on a tour of the surrounding area. I ended up taking a picture of the pier at Manhattan Beach.
I did lose my debit card, or at least I can't locate it, and still haven't. I ended up drawing out all the money of my accounts so I would have it for the trip. We stopped at Williams, Arizona. I found out with all the Covid stuff motels aren't taking cash payments, so I had to get a debit card and load it up. The next morning we drove through Sedona. That drive through the area was so scenic and beautiful so I took quite a few pictures. That night I found out that I couldn't load a debit card after midnight--the hard way! I ended up driving the rest of the night and getting a reloadable debit card and put money on it at 6am. I was already in Arkansas by that point so I ended driving the rest of the day and arrived at my parents house around 6:30-6:45 pm in Alabama.
It was so good to be able to visit with my parents and my 2 boys. Chris, my oldest son, came over the next day. My Mom actually referred to me as she and her and asked what name I was using. I was a little uncomfortable answering her question because my Dad was in the room too. I did muster up some courage and answer her question. She continued to refer to me as she. My Dad didn't though. The next day while my Dad went to the bank (he didn't want anyone to see me so he wouldn't have to answer any questions about me) my Mom and I talked about everything under the sun, which I loved. However, she did, at one point, ask me who my mother was before realizing that she is my mother. I said "yes you are." We continued to talk about many things. She asked about what type of music I like and about my friends in the Bay Area. She ended up asking questions she had asked before and later did the same when we were eating. When I went back downstairs, I completely lost it. I cried 3 times at least. I truly hope the conversations we had somehow helped her memory. I think I'm having short time memory problems but not like hers though. She'll be 76 next month (August).
After dinner I got back on the road and drove the rest of the way to Savannah. I got there late but the motel I reserved closed the office at 11 pm, well before I arrived. I ended up having to get another motel for that night and I went back to the extended stay hotel the next day. It was quite a journey, all in all.
I did lose my debit card, or at least I can't locate it, and still haven't. I ended up drawing out all the money of my accounts so I would have it for the trip. We stopped at Williams, Arizona. I found out with all the Covid stuff motels aren't taking cash payments, so I had to get a debit card and load it up. The next morning we drove through Sedona. That drive through the area was so scenic and beautiful so I took quite a few pictures. That night I found out that I couldn't load a debit card after midnight--the hard way! I ended up driving the rest of the night and getting a reloadable debit card and put money on it at 6am. I was already in Arkansas by that point so I ended driving the rest of the day and arrived at my parents house around 6:30-6:45 pm in Alabama.
It was so good to be able to visit with my parents and my 2 boys. Chris, my oldest son, came over the next day. My Mom actually referred to me as she and her and asked what name I was using. I was a little uncomfortable answering her question because my Dad was in the room too. I did muster up some courage and answer her question. She continued to refer to me as she. My Dad didn't though. The next day while my Dad went to the bank (he didn't want anyone to see me so he wouldn't have to answer any questions about me) my Mom and I talked about everything under the sun, which I loved. However, she did, at one point, ask me who my mother was before realizing that she is my mother. I said "yes you are." We continued to talk about many things. She asked about what type of music I like and about my friends in the Bay Area. She ended up asking questions she had asked before and later did the same when we were eating. When I went back downstairs, I completely lost it. I cried 3 times at least. I truly hope the conversations we had somehow helped her memory. I think I'm having short time memory problems but not like hers though. She'll be 76 next month (August).
After dinner I got back on the road and drove the rest of the way to Savannah. I got there late but the motel I reserved closed the office at 11 pm, well before I arrived. I ended up having to get another motel for that night and I went back to the extended stay hotel the next day. It was quite a journey, all in all.
Sunday, July 12, 2020
New Adventures
I'm getting ready to head out on another adventure. I think Jasper and I are going to stop and see Deirdre in the L.A. area then head down to Sedona. I've never been there. It's been on my list of places to see for quite some time. I can't wait to experience the energies there. From there I may drive up to Wisconsin and see my daughter if they have time for a visit. I miss her so much. I'd like to see the boys in Alabama. I need to gather up courage to have that conversation with my Dad. Why do I feel such anxiety over having that conversation? After that potential visit I'm looking to go on to Savannah. I love the ocean. The temperatures there would be much more conducive for my body than it is here.
Friday, July 10, 2020
Earth Energies
Yesterday I took time out from everything and decided, on an impromptu basis to just take off and drive up to Mount Shasta. I'm really glad I did. I left around 6:30 am and got up there around lunch time. Upon getting there (I drove up as far as the road would take me), I walked around took pictures. They were quite stunning. Afterwards I just sat in the car, with the door open and legs hanging out and closed my eyes. The tears started flowing as I totally let myself go. It truly felt incredible. Sitting there at one of the Earth's chakras, the energy felt incredible.
Processing what occurred there, I want to experience more of the Earth's energies and explore more of the sacred sites. I think I want to drive down to Sedona next. The thought came to my friend Deirdre of me exploring Sedona. I feel she was supposed to pass this on to me.
Processing what occurred there, I want to experience more of the Earth's energies and explore more of the sacred sites. I think I want to drive down to Sedona next. The thought came to my friend Deirdre of me exploring Sedona. I feel she was supposed to pass this on to me.
Thursday, July 2, 2020
I Am Enough
For years I felt I wasn't good enough. Wasn't good enough for your love. I still loved you, would do anything for you. I would make any sacrifices for you. Even lay down my life it would protect you from harm. I knew you didn't feel the same way that I felt for you. For years I just accepted the "fact" that I wasn't good enough to receive your love. When you unfriended me it felt like the Universe itself was crumbling to me. I literally yelled out to the Universe and I could feel the reverberations from the energy I had sent out reverberate back to me like a giant bell. The sound it generated announcing the doom of the relationship, with whom, I loved more than life itself.
Now I realize that I have a lot to offer. Her love has nothing to do with my own self worth. I am so much more valuable than that. In fact, I see her and I have a pity on her. I feel I have grown so much since that fateful day in May, 2018. I am truly not the same person as I was back then. I've had to pick up the pieces of my heart and glue them back together with the glue of self-love, tenderly and carefully. Many tears were shed and sure my friends got tired of hearing the story but I grew from the experience. I thank my friends for supporting me during that time, one in particular. During this time I've also grown closer to Mother Sophia, the mother of my spirit and also Mary Magdalene, the feminine Christos. I thank both of them for Their love during this time and beyond.
Jaclyn C. Horton
Now I realize that I have a lot to offer. Her love has nothing to do with my own self worth. I am so much more valuable than that. In fact, I see her and I have a pity on her. I feel I have grown so much since that fateful day in May, 2018. I am truly not the same person as I was back then. I've had to pick up the pieces of my heart and glue them back together with the glue of self-love, tenderly and carefully. Many tears were shed and sure my friends got tired of hearing the story but I grew from the experience. I thank my friends for supporting me during that time, one in particular. During this time I've also grown closer to Mother Sophia, the mother of my spirit and also Mary Magdalene, the feminine Christos. I thank both of them for Their love during this time and beyond.
Jaclyn C. Horton
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