Tapping Session March 14, 2019

Today I was feeling anxiety, feeling overwhelmed among other things. Part of it was the fears surrounding the Coronavirus that people have been feeling and communicating. Of course being an empath I feel it so much more. Another thing that is adding to the overwhelmingness is my own physical health. Yesterday I went to Urgent Care again (a few weeks ago I had the flu and found myself there back then) because of breathing issues and sinusitis. I have such a history of this. They put me on 3 more weeks of Prednisone (which to me seems like a lot, and also Sudafed for the sinusitis). So dealing with my health issues adds to this. Also what came out in the session was a vulnerability regarding growing up in Alabama as transgender, but I think that realization was in the subconscious during that time. Perhaps my subconscious knew it would not be safe for me to come out there, during that time. In addition there was some more ancestral stuff related to how POC were treated by my ancestors. I think a certain amount of responsibility for that, even though I've never owned slaves myself, in this lifetime anyway. I have no idea if I did in previous lifetimes, I sure hope not. During the session I felt very vulnerable as if all of my insides, my sensitive parts were completely exposed. I also related when I was a teenager my dad calling attention to the way I was walking. I think my femininity was coming out in the way I was walking and my dad didn't approve. I also related being told that I would be disowned if I ever brought home a black girl. I couldn't get past the feeling that felt that there's nothing to resolve the crimes of my ancestors, but still I felt responsibility as I mentioned. This will probably be something I need to work on. I'm kind of like an onion and the layers of trauma can be likened to the layers of an onion. As I resolve one layer there will be other layers below it. The journey towards healing continues.