Yesterday I listened to a guided meditation on releasing a friendship. This was my attempt at releasing a friendship, one that I would have sworn that the Earth would be destroyed before this friendship would end. Alas I was mistaken. I participated in the meditation with the hopes that the relationship would be released and I could move on with my life. However, it was not to be. Later in the day I began thinking of her again, wondering how this could happen and also, how she could try to cheat me. At least, it sure appears that she was. Once again the tears started to flow as I could help but think I really tried to love her the best that I could. This morning, after awaking, the thoughts returned that I really tried. I wonder how much longer this pain is going to go on. There are times I want to give up on this lifetime. I don't want it to seem like a retaliation to her or hurt those that I care about. I just want to stop hurting. Is that too much to ask? I just want to live in peace. It seems like people leave. Why do they leave? Have I done something to deserve this? Why can't I have happiness? Why can't I have true everlasting happiness? For the life of me I don't know.
Jaclyn C. Horton
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