Latest Happenings

Lately I've been struggling with my health. Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night coughing. I hope I'm not disturbing my housemates too much. It's the asthma kicking in. I've had to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch at work most days because of money issues. It's possible eating that much bread is causing issues in my system. Joy seems to think there's an emotional component. She may be right. I need to get to the bottom of it. Like is it related to me coming out to my parents and being unsupported by them? That has been many years ago, but then again, I can't remember too many asthma issues very far before when I came out to them. Rita and I separated in '98, I came out in '2000-01, the divorce was final in 2002. I was diagnosed in January of 2001 I believe, although I may have had undiagnosed issues before 2001. It's hard to pin point it. Of course it's gotten worse as the years have gone on. I had sinus surgery at one point, but the chronic sinusitis came back.

I've been struggling financially too. I may end up losing my car. I love that car so that really bothers me. I'm trying to focus on keeping a roof over my head, even if I lose the car in the process. I did get paid today but it was only half a check as the first one usually is. I will get some money from my parents next week so hopefully any repossession efforts won't happen before then. I was thinking maybe I could give the whole $500 to the loan company.

I feel so tired most days. I'm not sure if it's lack of sleep due to me coughing in the wee hours of the morning, emotional issues, worrying about money or a combination of these. I just pray that there would be some relief.

My mind still goes back to Rhiannan too. I suppose it always will. I wonder how she's doing. I hope she's doing ok. I pray for her so much. It's about all I have right now. I'm sure Mother Spirit is watching over her, but still. I would like to think somehow my prayers would help her. I wish her healing and peace.

Till next time.....