Conflict

I have a tendency to avoid conflict at all costs. During the fight I mentioned in my last post, I didn't say anything, even though it hurt like hell. Instead I was quiet and later that evening left the state. I also have a fear of letting her down, which of course ultimately happened-a self fulfilling prophecy. I think part of it has to do with events from a past life which is something I have to deal with this lifetime. I don't know what to do. There is no manual. At times I feel clueless how to precede. But I want to succeed in this. My desire is to heal everything that needs to be healed. It won't be easy but it needs to be done.

I really miss my friend. I think of the things we've shared in the past and the places we've been to and can't help but miss the things we've shared, the ability to talk with her about anything. I hope to be at that place once again. At this point I want to be supportive to her, in whatever way I can be of the most help. Most of all I miss her.

Jaclyn C. Horton