Sometimes even the best of friends part. While, I never would have guessed this would ever happen in a million years, it definitely happened. My soul cried buckets of tears. While I'm in a much better place than I was in those first few days and weeks when the wound was still fresh, I find myself incapable of ever ceasing to care for her. It's not that I haven't tried. All the people that I have ever known, I can't seem to let go of her. Again, I doubt I ever will be.
I want her to be ok. I want her to experience healing. I want her to know deep down that she is a worthwhile individual. I want her to know love, not just from a friendship or a romantic relationship, but I want her to know love from herself. I want her to be able to see herself the way I've seen her. I want her to see she is much more than the horrible trauma she has endured. She is a beautiful soul that I am glad to have known. It is my hope that sometime the horrible rift the two of us have exerienced will someday, somehow be bridged. I am a much different person than I was when she knew me before. I won't be at anyone's beck and call, but I do hope that our relationship, that all of the shattered pieces, can somehow be picked up and put back together, not in the same way but in a much better way, a much more mature way, neither of us being dependent on the other. I am guilty of being dependent on her for sure. Even if these things never happen, I want her to experience healing and love. That is my deepest, honest desire. May Spirit make this happen.
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