I'm not sure who, if anyone reads these ramblings of mine. They are an outlet of the thoughts in my head. Both good times and bad.
On Friday of this past week (10/12/2018), I got the schedule for the following week. It had me as being the lead 3 of the 4 days for the Bank of America equipment refresh I've been a part of. This really freaked me out. The last time I worked lead, I didn't get out of there until almost 4am (the SF Chinatown branch). On top of that, they put me with someone who physically isn't capable of doing the work required. He would do something then have to sit down for 15 minutes. I ended up doing part of his work. Then he would drop equipment down the stairs. When I saw the schedule, my first instinct was I needed to run, I needed to get out of there. So I messaged my friend Sandra in Portland that I've been wanting to see for awhile and asked if she was busy. Eventually she said to come on up, so after getting the drug test for a new job coming up (I resigned from the Bank of America job already) and registering to vote, I go home, pick up some clothes and Jasper and headed on up. I ended up making the trip in 11 hours. Not bad traveltime. I rolled in at 2am. Yesterday I walked in nature with Sandra, trying to make up my mind what to do concerning the last week of the job. Tonight I decided to just forego this last week. I'm so tired of sacrificing my body and sanity for someone else's bottom line. I want to eventually do freelance work, perhaps web design, tech work or even photograhy or writing. I do to brush up on my programming skills though.
It was nice to see Sandra and also Janice, Tilman, Mandy and some of their kids. The one person though, that I really wanted to see was Rhiannan. The image above is quite symbolic to me, and in a way I feel represents our relationship. I hope not though. I miss her so much. I don't feel comfortable messaging her or calling her trying to set anything up. I feel that if I did, that would be intruding on her privacy. While I do wish to see her so badly, I am going to wait for her to initiate it. I would gladly talk with her or go to see her if she asked me to. I hope that day will come some day. As I've said many times before, I wish her peace, I wish her healing, I wish her love.
There was someone that I thought the world would end before we would part. It was said that we would chase each other in wheelchairs around the nursing home in our old age. Alas we parted ways. I miss her so much, the thought of missing her brings tears to my eyes still many times. I wish her well, I wish her healing, I wish her love. I find solace in the fact that I know our time together wasn't Wasted Time.
So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find
That it wasn't really wasted time
Wasted Time
The Eagles
Jaclyn C. Horton
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