The Karma of my Family

 

Friends, as many of you know recently my Dad passed. My Mom is close to passing too. I had temporarily moved back to the southeast to be closer to my parents during that time. When I was in Arizona, I called them, and my Mom happened to answer the phone that time (usually my Dad answered the phone). I told her I was traveling that way and asked if it was ok to stop by there. My Mom was ecstatic. My Dad was much less excited. I remember in closing the call my Mom thanked me for the good news. In retrospect I realize my Dad had wanted to talk about me coming well in advance. When I did go there to visit, my Dad insisted that stay out of sight of the neighbors. He didn’t want to have to explain about me. Reputation and appearances were all very important to him (a Capricorn rising till the end). During the visit my Mom was so very glad to see me. She referred to me as she and her and asked me what name I was using. She has dementia so she may not remember the conversation but in my eyes she’s the only one in my family who loves me as I am. My Dad didn’t want anyone knowing that I’m transgender. I have kept a separate Facebook account for that reason. He totally didn’t support my transition nor accept me as I am. In fact, I remember once he called me saying that I wouldn’t be welcome at his funeral. He saw nothing wrong with that. My Mom, however, protested in the background, coming to my defense. I remember calling, roughly a week before my Dad passed, trying to set up a visit, but my Dad wasn’t interested. He took his unacceptance to the grave. I honestly feel like I was trying to mend our relationship but apparently, he wasn’t interested. He saw my being transgender (he didn’t see it as a way I was born) and some kind of great sin against God. I, on the other hand, feel I was born this way and was created this way by God. In this sense he isn’t accepting God’s creation, namely, me. I have no doubt if my Dad hadn’t interfered my Mom would be totally accepting of me, even if she disagreed. Now my brother seems like he’s taking my Dad’s place in this family saga. I called several times wanting to see my Mom, but my brother kept saying my Mom wasn’t able because of her condition. I believe me being transgender has at least something to do with it. So, the saga continues.