Through my experience it was validated at how great my capacity to love is. It was the first time I loved someone that completely. I don't regret loving, I just wish it had been returned to the degree that I loved her and that I didn't get abandoned. That my core abandonment wound hadn't gotten triggered, but then again, I wouldn't have grown from the experience, something that I'm still in the middle of experiencing. Something that I'm still feeling the pains from. The end result, I'm sure will be more than worth it, although it is difficult to see that completely now. I have faith though that the growth I receive will definitely be worth it.
One thing I think about is how to discern whether or not the next person has done their inner work, that they won't run away every time I get close, every time I open my heart and let my love flow to them. I don't want to go through this again. I'm not sure my heart could survive if it did happen again. I do feel confident, though, that in time I will be able to discern this, even though, at times, I still feel raw from the events that have occurred.
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