Another Dream

 Typically I rarely dream, but here I've dreamed two nights in a row. I woke up this morning to one where I had built a house of my own, on a lake but also near the house was an underground crypt of sorts. In ways it was like one of the Egyptian pyramids, including having hieroglyphics on the walls. Apparently I had built it for me to live the last years of my life in and die there alone. I think it is indicative and symbolic how I feel alone and isolated. I've been reading a good bit on Mary Magdalene and share the pieces that resonate with my soul. I've posted things on my Facebook wall and also on the Facebook Gnostic group I manage. Sometimes people respond to these postings. Still I feel very alone and isolated. This weekend I'm spending the night with my friend Quynh, which should help some but I eventually have to come back and with it the realization that there's no one romantically inclined toward me, at least not with the spiritual interests I have. I post in a trans dating site where they asked for introductions. Someone did respond and said they wanted to get to know me, but one glance at their page gave me the impression we had very little in common. I want to share and discuss spiritual things and they had nothing like that on their page. My page, in contrast is covered in those types of things. For the most part I'm going to continue pouring myself into my readings and studies of Mary Magdalene and other Gnostic topics. I may read from the Gospel of Phillip next. I still have trouble reading from the books that Sandy sent me. I was halfway through one on the Egyptian pyramids I was very into before everything went south between Sandy and I. I hope I can get interested enough to get back into it. Of course my lack of interest in it or the Hekate book has nothing to do with the subject matter but with the person who gave me to them.  I hope things will improve. It's only been 5 days since we took a break, a whole 25 more days to go. I miss her but sometimes I have so much anger towards her. Anger and a host of other emotions as well. I'm hoping by the time the month has passed, these feelings will settle down and I will be better able to manage them.