Last night I had a restless night, I woke around 10:30 and was awake for several hours, having trouble shaking thoughts about Sandy. Eventually I could only think of how much I loved her, that I actually tried to give her my all. I began to cry, once again. I cried hard and it turned into outright sobs. This morning she messages me all cheerful, talking about how wonderful her spiritual studies were and how much she loved them. While I'm happy for her that she likes her studies, it's really hard to take such cheerfulness when your soul is grieving for the loss of something you believed in, that you believed was going to be the greatest love of your life. I can only hope her soul will remember me her next carnation.
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