Yesterday I messaged Sandy and told her I needed a break. A break from our relationship. While we were no longer in a romantic relationship (I'm not sure where she was in that but I felt I was in one with her). I need to focus on myself and on my own healing. I'm nursing a broken heart at this point. I loved so intensely and deeply so when I found out she hadn't even been attracted to me in the beginning, but attracted to Jeff this hurt to my very core. This will take some time to get over. I don't feel that continuing in a friendship having communication every day is conducive to my healing. In fact I'm sure it would prevent healing. I'm planning to focus on loving myself first and foremost. That needs to happen before I can attempt to love anyone else on a romantic level. I also need to accept other types of love. There are people who love, but just not romantically. I will continue with my spiritual studies. I'm currently rereading the book Magdalene Mysteries: The Left-Hand Path of the Feminine Christ. I downloaded an audio book by Byron Katie called I Need Your Love--Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead. My own healing and my own self-love is my main focus right now. I don't want to have to go through this all over again next incarnation.
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