Tuesday, July 6, 2021

What I Deserve, a Dream and More

 Last night I picked up the card Sandy had sent me when she sent the gifts. In the card she wrote that she couldn't wait to see me in person and couldn't wait for us to go on our trips together including Bella's House (from the Twilight movie), Egypt, Coney Island among others? She asked the question "could we add more?" She included kisses on the inside of the card as well. I couldn't help but think how these plans are now canceled. This invokes quite a bit of sadness in my heart. I also felt anger. As I contemplated these things, I decided that I deserved loyalty and truth. The truth comes in when she said she wasn't attracted to me as Jackie. 

When I woke up this morning, I remembered a dream I had (which is rare). Sandy was dying and my friend Quynh and I were trying to make it to see her before she passed but we were too late. I wonder if this dream is symbolic. I do hope we can continue to be friends. We've shared many spiritual conversations and I hope we are able to continue to do so. I've been reading a book on Mary Magdalene and I read a number of things I would love to share with her. I bookmarked them in the hopes that I could share them after the month break has passed. I hope I get the opportunity to share them.

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